Falling Together by Marisa de los Santos

I loved it.  I love her.  I was not disappointed. This is the kind of book that I love from the beginning and thought all day about when I could read it again.  Luckily I had a free night to read into the wee hours, and it was so worth it.
This is the story of Pen (Penelope) who is raising her 5 year old daughter, living with her brother Jamie and still grieving from her father's death.  In college she had two best friends, Cat and Will, with whom she was inseparable.  At some point after graduating, the three split up.  It's been 6 years, and the details of the events leading up to that moment are sprinkled through out the story.  Pen and Will receive a cryptic e-mail from Cat, which leads to them meeting up, and ultimately working through the details of their years spent apart.

What's that?  A story about three close college friends?  Lots of poignant reflections on losing your father?  Longing for people you've lost?  This is a book for me.

At the start Pen reflects, "Since you left there's been a you-shaped space beside me, all the time.  It never goes away."

I also love this perspective on harboring hate. "She could imagine sustaining certain emotions at that pitch for that long--love absolutely, grief probably, guilt maybe--but hatred was exhausting and gave so little back.  Once, after her father died, Pen had tried to keep hatred alive, but it kept losing its firm shape, kept smudging and blurring until it became an immense black, impossible heavy sadness that lived inside her body and made it hard to move, so she had given it up."

Doesn't this remind you of college? "They'd walk out of their apartment door, with their lipstick fresh and their hair and eyes lit by the streetlights, and anything, anything would seem possible to Pen."

There are so many great realizations and conversations I enjoyed reading and thinking about in this book.  There's a moment when Pen realized a guy may not be as big a jerk as he seemed at first, and it is written so well.
"It was simply this: for the first time, she understood that it was possible to form an opinion about a person, an opinion based on solid evidence and a vast quantity of justified self-righteous anger, to even have this opinion reinforced by trusted colleagues, and to be, at least partially, wrong."

The book takes them on a journey, literally and figuratively, to find Cat.  I think the story is interesting and well developed.  But really it's the writing more than the story that I fall in love with when I read Marisa de los Santos.

"'I'm beside myself with happiness,' said Pen. "And gratitude.  And relief.  I just came home from work and saw her sitting there with Augusta, and it took my breath away.  It was like someone fixed my television.'.....
the fact was that he knew immeadiately what Pen meant.  'Colors got brighter,' said Will. 'Edges got sharper.'
'Everything gleamed,' Pen said. 'Like sometimes happens after it rains.'"

Just like her first two books, I felt like the prevailing theme was love.  How love, in all its forms, is what is most important.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

If you really like Tina Fey and think she is hilarious, you'll probably really like this book.  I did.  But it wasn't as funny as I hoped it would be.  It's a nice quick read, and had some really great parts.  It confirmed to me that she is smart and original and just super funny!

She does us the f-word, and there are some jokes that I think of as the easy way out, ie. periods, body humor, crude words, dumb responses to rude comments online.  BUT it could, of course, been a lot worse.  I still feel like she goes for the smarter punchline, rather than potty humor.  But just from a few references, it is always shocking to me that real comedic writers think that kind of stuff is funny.

I think my favorite chapter is the one titled, "Sarah, Oprah, and Captain Hook, or How to Succeed by Sort of Looking Like Someone."  It tells about the weekend that she filmed with Oprah for 30 Rock, first parodies Sarah Palin, all while preparing for her daughter's 3rd birthday.  Having watched both 30 Rock and SNL during that time, I found it fascinating!  Really.

It's shouldn't be surprising that she has some really hysterical lines in this book.  I loved that it really carries an easy narrative voice, and you laugh as you go.  I'll share a couple to give you a taste, but I don't want to spoil the whole feel if you want to read it.

"All the windows were covered, and you had to be buzzed in through two different doors.  This place was not kidding around."

"I hope you enjoy it so much that you also buy a copy for your sister-in-law."

 I also loved the chapter where she explains the step-by-step process of a photo shoot. 

"You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams."

"When people say, 'You really, really must' do something, it means you don't really have to...When it's true, it doesn't need to be said."

Because I love 30 Rock, I really liked all the behind the scenes stories about how it became a show, and how different episodes came about. 

Also, Tina Fey includes real life pictures from growing up.  Hilarious. 

I love her non-chalant humor, and I enjoyed reading more about her!

LOVE THAT DOG by Sharon Creech

A short, sweet book that is written like a young boy's poetry journal for a school class.  Of course the English teacher in me loved the idea of inspiring a student to express themselves in poetry.  I love that Sharon Creech references all those poems that we introduce kids too in an effort to get them to love poetry.  They are the best ones!


I enjoyed reading this book.  I'm going to hand it off to my boys and see what they think about it.  It was a fun change from what I'm usually reading, and  I like books that present their story in a clever way.  This is like a poem of a book.

"Maybe he was just making pictures with words..."
Isn't that a great definition of poetry?

Cold Sassy Tree Olive Ann Burns

This is just what I needed this week.  It has been a while since I've read a book that I loved.  Thank you Colby for the advice to "stop what you are doing and read this now."  I loved this book!  Years and years ago (during high school maybe?), I read this after my aunt recommended it to my mom or something.  I remember I liked it, but I didn't remember anything else.  Now I can't believe I could ever forget forget it because I enjoyed reading it so much.

Cold Sassy is a fictional town in Georgia, and this book takes place in 1906.  Will Tweedy is 14, and tells the story about his family and the events that changed them that summer.  I enjoyed his voice and the southern accents, "ast," " 'tweren't," "swannee."  Olive Ann Burns uses her characters' voices to create the whole feel of the town.

In the second page of the book Will Tweedy says, "I and my little redheaded sister, Mary Toy, always followed him down the hall and he usually gave us each a stick of penny candy."  Don't you love how he added that little detail about Mary Toy?  I liked him right away.  Just a few pages later, when describing Miss Love Simpson he says "I had always admired Miss Love, with all that wavy brown hair piled atop her head, and that smiley, freckledy face and those friendly gray-blue eyes.  She was a merry person, like Grandpa."  Wouldn't you love to be described as a "merry person"?

There is a sweet story that his Grandma would tell about his Grandpa, "When he come back to Cold Sassy after the War, he was the handsomest man you ever seen and I was a old maid.  Twenty-one year old and never had a beau in my life.  I was fixin' to go to church one Sunday morning when this good-lookin' feller, he tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'Ain't you Miss Mattie Lou Toy?  You don't need no sermon today.  Stay out here and le's talk.'...So we stayed in the churchyard, like a re'lar courtin' couple, and talked one another's ears off.....Fore that day was over Mr. Blakeslee said he was a-go'n marry me..."  Cold Sassy Tree is filled with these little heart-warming moments. 

I also loved the sweet wisdom that Grandpa shares in nuggets throughout the book.  Like, "Livin' is like pourin' water out of a tumbler into a dang Coca-Cola bottle.  If'n you skeered you cain't do it, you cain't.  If'n you say to youreself, 'By dang, I can do it!' then, by dang, you won't slosh a drop."  Later after Will escapes a close run in with a train he is asking his Grandpa if it was God's will that he survived.  His Grandpa said, "What God give you was a brain.  Hit's His will for you to use it--p'tickler when a train's comin'."  Grandpa's religious explanations were especially meaningful.  He offers a "family prayer" right after Will's accident that is so great. 

Cold Sassy is a small town, the kind that makes "small town" an adjective. I loved how when tragedy strikes, they gather together, bring food, and take care of each other.  Of course, the other side of the coin was how when anything happens, there is someone there to judge, report and repeat what had happened.  There are so many examples of this in the story.

I loved the family dynamics, and really how no one is perfect.  Will makes some choices that drive you crazy, and Aunt Loma is such a pill, but by the end they have really endeared themselves to you.  At least they did to me.  I loved the Grandpa's teachings and his critiques of preachin' and where he thought the pastors were getting it wrong. 

This book is getting a spot in my top 10. 

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

I have seen links to Randy Pausch's last lecture on the internet, and recently noticed that he had also written a book expanding on the lecture he gave at Carnegie Mellon.  I was curious about the hype and drawn to his story of living with a terminal diagnosis, but I was worried it might be too sad to get through.  I got through it fine, but it didn't change my life.  I think Randy Pausch has some great insights and perspectives and he shared them in a really approachable way.  It reminded me of books like Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, or Life's Little Instruction Book.  All fine books, but not really my favorite thing to read.  This book is, of course, set apart with personal stories, and always with the understory that this man knows he only has a few months left to live.

When he was asked to give the lecture, he asked himself:  "What do I, alone, truly have to offer?"  I think that is a worthwhile reflection for all of us.  He also mentions a coach that taught him,  "You've got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work."  That made me think of teaching.  You have to teach them basic principles and values or the other stuff doesn't stick.

On building self-esteem he says, "You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process."  I like that, and it resonates with several things I've read lately.  I think about that a lot raising my kids!

There was a section about his habit of leaning back in his char at dinner and how it drove his mom crazy.  I kind of get his point, but my boys have broken a few chairs in our house that way, so it was kind of annoying to read.  I sympathized with his mom more than him!

There's a section where he shares that he would send a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint's with every paper he asked another professor to review, along with a short note.  "Thank you for agreeing to do this...The enclosed Thin Mints are your reward.  But no fair eating them until you review the paper."  Clever.  He finished the section with, "I've found Thin Mints are a great conversational tool.  They're also a sweet reward for a job well done."  I think that is a good example of his "voice" in this book.  I found it annoying sometimes.  But he also mentions that he's aware of his "social" flaws.  A mentor once told him, "Randy, it's such a shame that people percieve you as arrogant, because it's going to limit what you're going to be able to accomplish in this life."  He does sometimes come off as arrogant, but then again, he did accomplish A LOT in his short life.

There are chapters where he says that, "brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough.  They're there to stop the other people."  There's another section titled, Earnest is Better Than Hip.  He explains "the head fake" and then refers to it a few times. Some of these sayings and sections seemed a little too cliche to me.  The seemed dumb.  I think to really do Randy Pausch justice, I need to watch the video of his lecture.  I think in a more concise format, it might move me more.

I was most touched by the chapters about his family that he concludes with.  It is such a tragedy to lose your father or husband, and to loose him at such a young age and so early on in your marriage is really heartbreaking.  He concludes his lecture by explaining that one of the main reasons he wanted to give it, and expand it into a book, is so his children can know him.  So he can pass on the wisdom he won't be around to give them.  I think that is beautiful, and I admire him for taking the time to write the book.

If You Could See Me Know by Cecilia Ahern

I tried to start reading this a couple times, and I felt like the beginning was just too much.  Too much information, too forced, and I didn't really like the writing.

But because I've put down a few books lately, because the main character is named Elizabeth Egan (!), and because I liked the idea of the plot, I kept reading.  Honestly, the whole first half kind of got on my nerves.  I think the story was OK, but the writing style and the characters kind of bugged me.

Elizabeth has had a sad life.  Her mom abandoned her family, she mostly raised her sister and her dad is emotionally distant.  And now she is raising her nephew because her sister is terrible mess. Elizabeth is kind of a control freak, but is successful in her career and her younger life is revealed haphazardly throughout the book.  Her nephew meets an imaginary friend "Ivan" who take turns with Elizabeth in telling the story.  So because she is lonely and needs him, eventually Elizabeth can "see" Ivan and their friendship helps to relieve some of the sadness and pain in her life.  Imaginary friends come to help children with what they are struggling with and he does the same for Elizabeth.

Because I knew what the story was about, I decided to follow the book through to the end.  I know some people love it, so you might too.  But for me there were just too many annoying things.

There is a meeting of the Imaginary Friends, and they all give a report of their friend they are helping.  The conversation is so trite.  Like maybe the author looked up reasons kids have imaginary friends, then created the profiles by going down the list.  It was dumb.

Then there's this cheesy conversation between Ivan and Elizabeth when she's trying to figure out what his job is.  In fact a lot of the conversations between them are supposed to be clever with Ivan attempting to answer her literally as she misunderstands over and over.  Assuming he's Sam's dad, then assuming he's a silent partner, that he works with children, etc.  It was annoying to me.

So many times I felt like the whole character of Ivan was a copycat of Will Ferrell's character in Elf, and maybe even a little borrowed from Tom Hank's character in Big.  Like a child trapped in an adult's body, but most of what he says seems really profound, and only sometimes ridiculous.  Everytime he says things like, "spinning is my favorite"  I couldn't help but hear Will Ferrell's Buddy's voice.  Not very original.

I will say that the overall idea and story is heartwarming.  The idea that Ivan could fill a void in Elizabeth's life and help her learn to love again, is very sweet.  There is this moment of clarity when Elizabeth relives a tragic moment from her childhood, that seems to embody all her fears, and give her all the answers she's been running away from.  I felt like it was almost great.  It was a little too tidy for me, and the writer was trying too hard for me to really get into it.

Here are a couple of sweet quotes.

"My special power is friendship.  I listen to people and I hear what they say.  I hear their tones, the words they use to express themselves, and most importantly, I hear what they don't say.  Sighs and silences and avoided conversations are just as important as the things you do talk about."

"Those were the best times because her mother would be in one of her happy moods, delighted to be home, telling Elizabeth how much she'd missed her, smothering her with hugs and kisses so much that Elizabeth couldn't remember ever feeling sad."

I read the back flap of my library copy of this book and learned two things that say a lot.

A) Cecelia Ahern is 24.  Or was when the book jacket was made, which means that she was even younger when she wrote this.  Maybe her writing with improve with age.  (PS.  She wrote the book P.S. I Love You)

B) Film rights to this book have been bought by Walt Disney Pictures.  I bet they could make a pretty good movie out of this story.  With the right editing, it could be a really good story, the book just didn't pull it off in my mind.

The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson

I put this book on hold based on Tara's recommendation.  I liked it.

The story begins with a 17-year-old girl, Jenna Fox, who has come out of a year long coma and is struggling to remember everything.  I thought the beginning was a little boring, but I think that is intentional because Jenna is so awkward and confused at first.  It gets better as she makes friends, and begins to solve the mystery of her "accident" and her recently awakened self.

This is science fiction, and poses ethical questions about what might be possible in the future of bio-medical advances.  I thought that aspect was interesting, but really its just not my favorite genre.  What made this book interesting to me was the idea of how parents expectations or dreams for their kids influence their ethics.  I thought the title was very clever. 

"Jenna is so used to every move being recorded at this point that she seems to have surrendered herself to the adoration of Jenna Fox."

"Sometimes a person gets tired of being fixed all the time.  Where every little problem becomes a project.  Where every shortcoming needs to be addressed."

I don't expect my kids to be perfect (have you met my kids?), but I do want them to find one true passion and excel at it.  I want them to be good at something, or a few things, and reading this made me think about my dreams for them.  Do I adore my kids enough as their normal selves?

Although I found it thought-provoking from a parent's point of view, I think the best audience for this book is a female young adult.  Maybe 12-16?  I passed it on to my son who is 12, and he read it on the way too and from an outing and finished it.  He liked it too.  He did point out a few things they mention but don't develop much, but if I mention them it will spoil the book.

The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels -- A Love Story by Ree Drummond

I'm sure I've visited The Pioneer Woman's blog before, I've certainly heard her name around, and always connected to good things. I keep seeing ads for her new TV show, so I was really interested in reading this book.

I really enjoyed reading this fun story of how she and her husband met. Like so many of us, they met when she was at a crossroads in her life, and their relationship drastically altered her future. She has a pleasant writing style, and while her story could have been too romanticised and gaggy, it's not. Her re-telling made me feel sentimental about my own love story, and brought back those emotions that you feel when everything is so new and so uncertain.

Both Ree and "Marlboro Man" as she refers to her cowboy are like able personalities. I liked the embarrassing stories that she shares of their early relationship, and I understood many of the stresses and heartache in their first year of marriage. I think her writing style is comfortable and relate able, and a nice way to spend a couple of evenings. You can read it fast, and it won't change your life, but you'll enjoy it.

Here are a few of those relate able excerpts:

"To talk about our future would be premature; but to totally dismiss that we'd happened upon something special wouldn't be right, either. Something extraordinary had occurred between us--that fact was indisputable. It was the timing that left so much to be desired."


"And I knew it, even then: Marlboro Man, not only that night but in ht emonths to come, would prove to be my savior, my distraction, my escape in the midst of troubles, my strength in the face of upheaval, my beauty in times of terrible, heartbreaking ugliness."


"I was exhausted, unable to make it through one day without crying or gagging or worrying. I'd fallen in love, married a cowboy, and moved to the peaceful, bucolic contryside. But it was peace that eluded me the most."


"Any identity I'd previously had as a wife, daughter, friend, or productive member of the human race had melted away the second my ducts filled with milk."

Savvy by Ingrid Law

This is a fun quick read that I would say would be most appealing for 4th and 5th graders.  The story is told through Mibs Beaumont, who comes from a family with special powers.  They refer to them as "savvy" and the special "how-to" usually appears on the child's 13th birthday.  Of course the savvy is powerful, and it takes time and effort for the kids to keep it in control.  As a result, one of her brothers started an hurricane on accident, and another quite often causes power outages.

Right before her 13th birthday, Mibs' father is in a horrible accident.  Most of the book is about the adventure she and two of her brothers go on trying to get to the hospital to see him. 

I think it teaches simple lessons about the difference between what people show on the outside, and what they are on the inside.  It is sweet and simple. 

The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman

Proven Program to Safeguard Children from Depression & Build Lifelong Resilience

This book was recommended to me during a parent advisory committee meeting by the assistant director of elementary ed of my kids' school district.  She was talking about how gifted kids often have depressive thoughts because their intellect is so far ahead of their maturity level.  Like they are aware of problems and injustices that they don't have the life experiences to cope with yet.  This made sense to me, and I do have some concerns about depressive tendencies in some of my children, and I was very interested in this book.

I have really enjoyed reading it.  It is specific and precise in explaining the philosophies and then how-to's of Dr. Seligman's ideas.  It has taken me a long time to get through the whole thing, but considering the amount of this type of non-fiction books that I set aside and don't finish, my determination to get through it is a testament to it's value in my eyes!  I have taken tons of notes and am going to buy my own copy.

Here's a good quote that comes near the end, "Raising children, I realized, is more than fixing what is wrong with them.  It is about identifying and amplifying their strengths and virtues, and helping them find the niche where they can live these positive traits to the fullest."  Yep.

Dr. Seligman's basic idea is that you can vaccinate children against depression by helping them be more optimistic.  He is careful to explain that "optimism will not make the problems disappear.  On the contrary, it allows your child to get to the root of the problem so that she can focus on correcting the situation."  He is also very concerned with the scientific proof that his Penn-Prevention program has been successful.  He gives a lot of data and examples.  I didn't care as much about this.  But I suppose it helps you know he isn't just making things up. 

I've decided not to try to outline his whole book and the philosophies, and instead share with you a few nuggets that rang true with me.

A big part of his program is teaching your kids to evaluate the things they tell themselves.  To notice the dialogue in their head and then take control of it, "we aimed to teach children that thoughts are verifiable and changeable, that they do not need to believe the first thought that pops into their head."  Recognizing what we are telling ourselves, and realizing that it isn't always accurate seems like a really important skill.

"Children who habitually blame themselves when they fail have low self-esteem. They feel guilty and ashamed. Children who blame other people or circumstances.....feel less guilt and shame and they like themselves better. They are also angrier children."

One part that I've been talking to everyone who will listen to me about is the "ABC model."  It was developed by Albert Ellis who helped found cognitive therapy (this means nothing to me).  "The A stand for adversity.  An adversity can be any negative event: a failed vacation, a fight with a close friend, the death of a loved one.  The C stand for consequences: how you feel and behave following the adversity.  Often it seems that the adversity immediately and automatically produces the consequences.  Ellis, however, argues that it is the B--the belief and interpretations about A--that cause the particular consequences."  So if I get a D on a test, I might tell myself I am stupid and worthless and won't ever succeed. Or I might tell myself that my teacher is a jerk and writes bad tests. Or I might tell myself that I didn't study enough and I need to work harder next time. Consequently, I would feel depressed, mad or disappointed.

"Although thinking about the worst case--catastrophizing--can be productive in some situations, it is counterproductive in some situations, it is counterproductive when the worst case is actually very unlikely.  In these cases, planning for the worst is a bad use of your time.  It is a drain on your energy, and it ruins your mood."
There is a cool quiz you can give your kids to test their optimism levels.  It is based on bad and good events, and whether your child perceives them as permanent or changeable, whether the responsibility is theirs or another, and how pervasive it is in their life.  That was also very cool.  I gave it to my two oldest, and the results were very interesting to me.

There are three chapters of discussions and role playing and assignments to work on with your kids that are modeled after his Penn Prevention program.  While I haven't followed this, I have had some conversations with my kids using these ideas.  One example is reading a dialogue of a boy at a school dance and what he tells himself after he is turned down for a dance.  Then you explain to your kid, "When Greg thinks___, he is explaining his rejection by Cindy with Permanent thoughts.  This causes Greg to feel sad and he decides....." Then of course there are contrasting dialogues that show other possible reactions.  I liked reading through these, and thought they were valuable in explaining and really spelling out what his program is about. 

There is valuable information about depression.  For example, "The depressive's habit of thinking that the future is bleak, the present unbearable, the past filled with defeat, and the self without the ability to improve matters creates the low mood, the lack of zest, and the somatic symptoms of depression." And, "teach the depressive to change her habits of thinking, to decatastrophize, and all the rest of the symptoms would evaporate."

There is a section about the right way to criticize.  This was perfectly logical and helpful to read.  It goes well with the right way to praise that I learned in NurtureShock. "The first rule is accuracy.  Exaggerated blame produces guilt and shame beyond what is necessary to galvanize the child to change....The second rule is that whenever reality allows, you should criticize with an optimistic explanatory style.....When they blame changeable and specific causes of the problem, the child begins to learn optimism.  Any time you find your child to be at fault, it is important to focus on specific and temporary personal causes....and avoid blaming the child's character or ability."  He uses lots of examples to illustrate his points.

At times phrases are repeated and some ideas even seem repetitious, but it didn't get on my nerves like some books.  And given the length of time it took me to get through this, sometimes I even liked the reminders!

I have more good quotes, and I feel like I'm just barely touching on the content of this book.  But I'm going to stop now.

I recommend you read it, then we talk about it!  I found it enlightening, helpful and I am excited to continue implementing it in my life and my childrens' lives.